we are at gitmo. Me the Romanian – beiltan – and ruko. Haven’t seen a lawyer in three months. They flushed my Koran down the shitter. The food here sucks!!! Shit…here comes the guard and that fuckin dog. tell my mother i love her.
D.N.
we are at gitmo. Me the Romanian – beiltan – and ruko. Haven’t seen a lawyer in three months. They flushed my Koran down the shitter. The food here sucks!!! Shit…here comes the guard and that fuckin dog. tell my mother i love her.
D.N.
There are a lot of nasty things that you will find in a person’s bathroom. I don’t need to go into detail here…you probably all have at least one thing in your bathroom that would make your mothers upset. My apartment bathroom is no exception. It’s not everyday though that I find something that grosses me right the fuck out. In college I lived on an all male dorm; the things I have seen in a group bathroom would make Mother Teresa nauseous. That being said, I yesterday found a toothbrush lying right next to my Irish Spring bar soap in the shower. I use my soap to wash all the parts of my body. If one of my roommates wanted my balls in their mouth, I could have teabaged their ass and skipped the middle man completely. On the flip side, I don’t want somebody else’s saliva to be transferred to other parts of my body. It is goddamn nasty.
If that wasn’t disgusting enough, I today found a dildo in my shower. It was nestled all inconspicuous like right next to the shampoo and body wash almost like it belonged there. I didn’t even notice it was there until I was nearly done showering. So I know you are thinking “so what. It is a dildo.” right? Well, a disturbing fact is that there are four people living in this house, and not a single one of them is female.
That picture is not setup in anyway, but sits exactly as I discovered it. The burning question in my mind is, who’s ass has it been in? It isn’t the first time that this kind of thing has happened; one roommate thought it would be funny to sculpt my soap into the shape of a penis. Why? Well, he is obviously a flaming homo in denial. What he doesn’t know is what I did to his body wash.
A reoccurring theme? Most definitely. I guess the old saying is true: All the soap in the world won’t wash the gay away.
No, we are not talking about the Mets 162nd game last year or the 1980 Olympic hockey gold medal game (the Americans cheated). The only thing worse than an old man trying to pick up an attractive young college girl at the bar is imagining that old man standing in his closet while his wife sleeps, wacking off to the idea of meeting her at the local Motel 6. One can only picture “Mark” desperately tearing through the phone book looking for a girl for whom he only had a name. Luckily we caught this uncomfortable phone conversation on tape. Here’s to you Mark, hope cancer catches up with you soon.
Listen Now:
I’ve been a member of Ebay since 2000. After recently cleaning through boxes of old stuff, I began to sell off the contents of boxes of shit with no sentimental or personal value. Some of the smaller stuff is actually fetching good prices, while fewer items sell far short of what I had expected. Either way, it is nice to supplement my income. I definitely need that extra income too…student loans and crack rocks get expensive.
Upon closer inspection I realized that my selling endeavors with Ebay weren’t exactly as lucrative as I thought. A breakdown of the listing insertion fees, final value fees, extra fees, and other unexplained fees were costing me a hefty portion of what I was actually netting. To make matters worse, Ebay owned Paypal then takes an additional 3% off of the top of all Ebay payments (deducted from the seller, not the buyer). When all was said and done, I was getting the proverbial dick, balls deep from the Ebay empire every time I sold something.
*I now realize that the term “balls deep” may not make sense to you. In a previous post I used the term “balls deep” and received 2 emails asking what the term meant. No joke. So, allow me to explain. Imagine that you have a phallus shaped sword. The hilt of this sword is shaped like a set of testicles. Now, if you were to plunge this sword into a person all the way to the gonad shaped hilt, it would be “balls deep”. I know that is a little elaborate, but the volume of “virgin” readers here at AngryRomanian don’t seem to have a grasp on the physics of sexual intercourse yet. I would say “don’t worry…you aren’t missing anything” but that would be a completely dishonest statement. Anyways, back to my point.
I rejoiced yesterday when I discovered that Ebay has decided it prudent to lower insertion fees for sellers. Additionally, Ebay has now dropped fees from certain things like gallery listings. Unfortunately, Ebay stills bans the sale of Laotian slaves. But you can purchase entire porn companies. Wish I had $100K.
So what did I do then? I did exactly what they wanted me to do. I put up some auctions. What can I say…I am a consumer whore (and how!) falling for every disguised shit sandwich that Ebay shovels down my throat.
Obedience is delicious.
If you’re new to angryromanian.com just watch this, if not just watch this.
Occasionally I will come across something that just really blows my mind. In fact, I was so impressed with this video, I let the kidnapped hobos I keep in my basement come up and watch it. I then beat them and chained them back to the damp cinderblocks. They agreed that the video was indeed pretty funny.This video is old. In the world of teh internets, it’s already a classic. I don’t know where I have been that I missed this for over a year….oh yeah…that’s right. I had a life that didn’t revolve around stupid shit on the Internet. Now that I gots me a fancy Bachelor’s degree I am back to being bored and spend much of my free time surfing YouTube. You should see what I do on the weekends.
Anyways, watch this video. If you have already seen it, too fucking bad. This video only has about 15 million hits, which is a fairly small percentage of the 1.3 Billion internet users on the planet.
Enjoy. Or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.