Angry Romanian

I’ve been a member of Ebay since 2000. After recently cleaning through boxes of old stuff, I began to sell off the contents of boxes of shit with no sentimental or personal value. Some of the smaller stuff is actually fetching good prices, while fewer items sell far short of what I had expected. Either way, it is nice to supplement my income. I definitely need that extra income too…student loans and crack rocks get expensive.

Upon closer inspection I realized that my selling endeavors with Ebay weren’t exactly as lucrative as I thought. A breakdown of the listing insertion fees, final value fees, extra fees, and other unexplained fees were costing me a hefty portion of what I was actually netting. To make matters worse, Ebay owned Paypal then takes an additional 3% off of the top of all Ebay payments (deducted from the seller, not the buyer). When all was said and done, I was getting the proverbial dick, balls deep from the Ebay empire every time I sold something.

*I now realize that the term “balls deep” may not make sense to you. In a previous post I used the term “balls deep” and received 2 emails asking what the term meant. No joke. So, allow me to explain. Imagine that you have a phallus shaped sword. The hilt of this sword is shaped like a set of testicles. Now, if you were to plunge this sword into a person all the way to the gonad shaped hilt, it would be “balls deep”. I know that is a little elaborate, but the volume of “virgin” readers here at AngryRomanian don’t seem to have a grasp on the physics of sexual intercourse yet. I would say “don’t worry…you aren’t missing anything” but that would be a completely dishonest statement. Anyways, back to my point.

I rejoiced yesterday when I discovered that Ebay has decided it prudent to lower insertion fees for sellers. Additionally, Ebay has now dropped fees from certain things like gallery listings. Unfortunately, Ebay stills bans the sale of Laotian slaves. But you can purchase entire porn companies. Wish I had $100K.

So what did I do then? I did exactly what they wanted me to do. I put up some auctions. What can I say…I am a consumer whore (and how!) falling for every disguised shit sandwich that Ebay shovels down my throat.

Obedience is delicious.